Informational Posts and Skills Building:
These posts should contain information based on your expertise, experience, and therapy or coaching style. Ask a question at the end to get members commenting.
Have you heard of the STOP Skill?
S- Stop. Don’t react and stay in control
T - Take. Take a step back, a deep breath, and don’t act impulsively.
O - Observe. What are you thinking or feeling in this moment? What are others saying?
P - Proceed. Move forward mindfully. Think about your goals and what you want out of the conflict.
How would you like to implement this skill into your everyday life?
We’ve all experienced emotions that made us act in ways we wish we had not. The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed with emotion and wish to regulate, try this:
- Acknowledge the situation that is causing you distress.
- Think about the emotions you are feeling. If you are having trouble identifying them, try using a Feelings Wheel or pausing to self-reflect.
- Acknowledge the emotions for what they are. Say “I am feeling angry” instead of “I am angry.” Emotions are messengers, not who we are.
- Remove yourself from the situation if you are worried your emotions will say or make you do more harm than good. You can say “I am feeling very overwhelmed and would like to take a break from this conversation.”
- Once removed, practice self-care to help you get a hold of your thoughts and feelings. Write it out, exercise, practice mindfulness, do grounding techniques.
Repeat these steps whenever you are struggling with overwhelming emotions! Soon, the steps might become second nature for you.
(END WITH QUESTION OR ASK) When you’re ready, share your experience using these steps and what you learned.
Turn one skill into a multi-post series to create more content out of one idea. These posts will be longer and communicate skills-building for your members.
This week, we’ll be discussing the importance of boundaries in our relationships – be it romantic, familial, work, or friendship. A boundary lets people know where you end and begin!
Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, especially if we are setting them with someone we love, but loving ourselves is just as important!
Your homework this week is to self-reflect on why boundaries are important. In the comments, write what type of boundary you would like to set in your life and why you feel it’s important!
I’ll go first: I want to set a boundary with my best friend by telling her that I cannot be her friend and her therapist.
Last week, we talked about what kind of boundaries we want to set in our lives. This week, we’re discussing how to communicate those new boundaries to our loved ones while standing our ground and exhibiting empathy.
Here are some scripts you can try for communicating your boundary.
“It hurts my feelings when _________ and I would appreciate it if you would instead do ______________ instead.”
“It makes me uncomfortable when you _________ . For me to be comfortable, I need ____________________________.”
“The other day, you said _______________________, and it hurt. Can you please not use that kind of language/tone with me again?
Protip: never use words like “never, always, actually, the truth is” when setting your boundary.
Using your boundary from last week, write your own script below. I’ll go first:
“I appreciate you feeling comfortable telling me what’s going on in your life, but I want to be your friend first, not your friend and therapist. I would be happy to provide you with resources for a therapist you could see!”
Next week, we’ll discuss implementing consequences for broken boundaries…