4 mins read
March 20, 2023
How to Positive Self Talk Blog
Tamar Blue
Tamar Blue
Tamar Blue
How to Positive Self Talk Blog

This post is a practical one, and I hope it helps you deeply. It's also my personal manifesto.

I wrote this because anyone can feel down in the dumps. We can have low self-esteem and feel anxious, scared, or lacking in confidence. However, with many life stressors today, including a global pandemic, financial crisis, and increased civil unrest, 100 million people are in full-blown emotional distress. According to recent findings from the U.S. Census Bureau, a third of Americans show signs of clinical anxiety and depression amid the coronavirus pandemic. 

But you don't have to stay in that sunken place for days, weeks, or months or allow external stressors to keep you feeling low. There are healthy ways to acknowledge your feelings and shift your attention back to hopefulness, gratitude, and optimism. I like to do an exercise called "telling a better story," psychologically known as positive self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of automatic thoughts in your head, whether positive or negative. Positive self-talk deliberately focuses on a more positive narrative of thoughts

When I have days that I feel anxious, scared, or just a little nervous about a situation, I grab my journal and write a better version of the problem or make several positive affirmations. 

Here are a few things to point out: 

  1. If you do not like writing or find it difficult to read your handwriting, type it instead. 
  2. You can use the voice recorder on your computer or phone if you do not want to type.
  3. Before you start, ensure you are in a quiet space or know you won't be disturbed. Silence your phone notifications. 
  4. The length of what you say, type, or write does not matter. 

Need help getting started? Here are other things to consider: 

  1. Positive self-talk is not selfish or a form of narcissism, nor is it only for one gender or culture. It's a therapeutic form of self-love/care for everyone.
  2. This practice is weird initially, so be patient with yourself. 
  3. You may not know what to say (see positive affirmation statements below for examples to get started). 

Positive affirmation examples to help you get started:


  • I am grateful for my team and colleagues because they make me feel supported.


  • I am grateful for the love I already experience from my friends and family because it makes me feel cared for.


  • I am grateful for the experiences in my life because they make me feel wiser moving forward. 


  • I am grateful that I am in this strong body. 


  • I love myself more each day.
  • I rejoice in my uniqueness. 
  • I approve of myself.

According to the Mayo Clinic, health benefits from positive thinking include the following: 

  1. Increased life span
  2. Lower rates of depression
  3. Lower levels of distress
  4. Greater resistance to the common cold
  5. Better psychological and physical well-being
  6. Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
  7. Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

As I mentioned, I like to write things out the old-fashioned way. Writing is therapeutic for me, but please do whatever feels natural to you. Below are my thoughts and feelings from my journal from December 13, 2019. 

I started to let negative thoughts in my head discredit the incredible life experiences I've had in the past ten years, but that is because I didn't start the past ten years with clarity, vision, or the realization of how amazing a deliberate creator I can be. These past ten years gave me so much that I didn't even know I needed. Despite that, the universe was on my side in helping me find my way. 

  • I learned that practicing gratitude is the best thing I could ever do.
  • I gained an even deeper appreciation for honoring my body as a temple. 
  • I've had so many adventures. 
  • I've met more amazing people in the last ten years than in my entire life.
  • I've learned to set boundaries to protect my energy. 
  • I learned to be a better communicator, friend, and partner. 
  • I've learned to be more intentional. 
  • I've improved my diet (although I still love the occasional Oreo). 
  • I pray more now than ever before. 
  • I've learned to dream bigger than I ever knew I could. 
  • I experienced heartbreak, survived, and dared to love again even deeper.
  • I've gained a life partner. 
  • I've gained richness in friends, new skills, excellent health, and purpose. 

While this positive self-talk practice feels very timely based on all the economic, political, and social hardships happening almost simultaneously around the globe, this practice is timeless. Whether you are experiencing a pandemic-level problem or feel down in the dumps and could use a pick-me-up, the science-backed approach of positive self-talk is a simple exercise you can put in your emotional first aid toolkit.

Between the negative stigma of seeking mental health resources, the high cost of a private therapist, and the shortage of mental health professionals, people need more personal, low-cost ways to self-heal from home. That's why I made well-being and healing my life's work. 

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