“He adored me… then suddenly I was ‘too much’.”
Love bombing is when ‘Perfect Love’ starts to feel frail. At first, it feels like a dream.
Even if it felt like a fairytale at first. Somewhere between the compliments and the constant attention, a strange feeling of uneasiness appears. And that’s your gut feeling telling you that it’s a red flag. It’s like:
Many people on social media are describing this feeling as:
“I thought I finally found my soulmate, but I was not OK entirely. Something felt off that was making me feel unsafe.”
If that question sounds familiar, don’t consider yourself weird. You are not overthinking. Maybe you are stuck between the absurd cycle of love bombing that looks like “perfect love.”
Love bombing is when someone moves too fast emotionally. The intense affection, attention, and promises to create a quick attachment are not the signs of true love.
If you notice that your new partner is making you feel like they’re the only one who truly understands you. Things are not right if you see:
The key difference is speed and pressure.
a. Healthy love builds over time.
b. Love bombing rushes intimacy and attachment
This is the hardest part — because at the beginning, it doesn’t feel bad at all.
It feels like:
I noticed some people online say:
“I ignored the red flags because it felt so good to be loved like that.”
And that makes sense. We, humans, are wired to respond to societal connections or emotional relations. Some people start dating, spend a lot of time and later realise that they don’t like the person. It was the attention they liked.
The reason is that when someone gives you intense attention, your brain releases dopamine and oxytocin — the same chemicals linked to bonding and attachment. That’s why love bombing feels comforting at first.
But over time, the intensity can turn into:
Emotional red flags that feel “romantic” at first start to feel like pressure.
“I didn’t feel safe being myself — I felt like I had to stay perfect.” - Reddit
That’s an important clue.
Check out this shared text by Reddit users to evaluate what the difference is here.
Sabrina Zohar, a relationship coach, creator, and host of The Sabrina Zohar Show, presents a different approach to love bombing reasons. The villains whom we call narcissists or manipulators might not be the danger (not all). She believes there are always experiences and psychology behind every behaviour. She says:
She shares some tips to evaluate if this is a real connection or just bullshit*.
1- If you’re on your 1st date, and someone is coming very fast, just say ‘Hey I’m excited about you, but I don’t know you well. Why don’t we go on a few dates first to know each other better?
2- If they text you a lot, it might be because they want that domanie hit. They are insecure. It’s about them. You might be amazing, and you know that, but do they know you are amazing?
3- If you feel excited about:
Stop! It might be the illusion of your brain, because how does a person know all of those things? Maybe you grew up in a household where you were ignored? That’s because you are getting attracted to them, and that’s not love.
4-Go for the facts. See what you actually know about that person? Don’t believe their words, but actions.
5- Check your behaviour too, as to how well you can control your nervous system and whether you align your words and actions.
First, you have to understand how this pattern works and why it can be so difficult to escape. Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Dr Thomas Franklin, MD shares his clinical perspective.
“The narcissistic abuse cycle often involves idealization and devaluation, which becomes chronic. Ultimately, it leads to discarding the person who has been wrung out and is no longer the new shiny object that made the narcissist feel special in the first place. Often these chaotic, aggressive relationships involve other character pathology, including borderline and sociopathy.”
(Dr. Thomas Franklin)
Showering you with attention and affection to create attachment. For example, in the first few weeks, they text nonstop, call you their “soulmate,” talk about the future, and say things like:
“I’ve never felt this way before.”
It feels intense, exciting, and safe — like you’ve finally been chosen.
It means the sudden withdrawal of love, becoming critical or manipulative. Once you’re attached, the warmth slowly turns into criticism or emotional distance. For example, the same person who praised everything about you now says, “You’re too sensitive.”
When they feel they’ve lost control, they suddenly pull away or end things. Like, after you ask for consistency or set a boundary, they disappear, break up abruptly, or act like you never mattered — leaving you shocked and confused.
They come back when they sense you’re moving on. Like, weeks later, they message: “I miss you. I’ve changed.”
Or show up on important dates, apologize dramatically, or hint that they’re struggling, pulling you back into the cycle.
You deserve love that feels safe, not overwhelming. So, if you feel like you are confused, don’t accuse, confront, or label someone right away. Protection starts with listening to your body.
Try this:
Breaking free from the narcissistic abuse cycle is probably one of the hardest things you will do. And if it has been a long-term relationship or you have kids together, it might look unresolvable.
This cycle is so hard to break because the narcissist has gaslighted you into thinking and believing that everything that happens is your fault. Once you realize what is happening, you can start making changes. You must check this list of given steps:
Walking away from love bombing isn’t hard because you don’t see the red flags. It’s hard because part of you is still holding on to who they were at the beginning.
The hardest part isn’t losing them. It’s losing the person they were when they made you feel special, safe, and deeply wanted.
So walking away feels like giving up on something beautiful, not escaping something harmful.
When the affection fades, your brain looks for answers. You blame yourself and start thinking:
Love bombing makes you believe that love is something you earn, not something you receive unconditionally. So instead of noticing the pattern, you start working harder, fixing yourself, adjusting your needs, shrinking your boundaries.
When they pull away, your nervous system panics. When they come back — even briefly, it feels like relief. That relief gets mistaken for love. Don’t worry, this isn’t your fault or weakness. It’s your brain trying to return to safety, even if that safety is no longer real.
A Reminder: If you recognized yourself in these examples, it doesn’t mean you were weak or naive. Love bombing works because it feels like love at first — not abuse. Wanting it back doesn’t mean you’re foolish; it means you’re human.
And walking away from this heinous cycle doesn’t mean you gave up too early. It means you stayed long enough to finally see the truth.
If something feels off in your relation leaving you confused, exhausted, or questioning your worth, it’s not because you’re weak — it’s because the situation itself is emotionally draining. Love shouldn’t make you feel small, rushed, or scared of losing it. Love should feel safe, steady, and respectful, not like something you have to constantly earn or fix.
Getting support from someone who understands these patterns can make all the difference. The right expert can help you untangle what happened, rebuild your confidence, and guide you toward healthier relationships. If you’re ready to take that step, you can find professional support, therapists, and safe mental health resources at MentalHappy.
You deserve healing and a love that doesn’t hurt.
If you are in a life-threatening situation - DO NOT use this platform.
Use these resources to get immediate help.
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