5 mins read
January 26, 2023

Stop In The Name Of Love (Setting Early Relationship Boundaries)

Establishing boundaries in early relationships is essential. This blog guides what you need to stop in the name of love and what you should prioritize.
Courtney Hyzy
Courtney Hyzy

Implementing emotional and physical boundaries can keep a budding relationship healthy and even develop mutual respect. When in the early stages, you clear personal or time boundaries; this boundary setting lets others know what you're willing to accept and will not be welcomed. Setting clear boundaries on perfect time will make new relationships grow for the long term as a happy relationship.

Need help with setting healthy relationship boundaries?

Establishing personal boundaries in the early stages is essential for a healthy relationship. This blog guides what you need to stop in the name of love and what you should prioritize. Read on!

Importance of Healthy Relationship Boundaries

Setting and maintaining boundaries in dating and a new relationship might make you uncomfortable, especially if you're a notorious people-pleaser. You may want to make and keep your new partner happy by compromising a few things. These can be:

  • Personal space
  • Personal time
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Mutual respect
  • Self-respect
  • Relationship rules
  • Your sexual boundaries

What to Consider?

Please don't do it if you need to compromise on big things. These are deal breakers of the early stages of a relationship. You need to figure out and resolve before getting emotional about it. Your well-being is as valuable as your partner's, and you should never feel embarrassed for wanting boundaries to make it a good relationship. Just don't expect your partner to read your relationship advice and know your intellectual boundaries because, fun fact, they can't read your mind.

Before we move to solve boundary issues in any toxic relationship, you need to know what kind of boundary setting should be considered.

Relationship Boundaries.jpg

Types of Relationship Boundaries

Setting boundaries in new relationships or romantic relationships requires focusing on mutual respect, mental health, quality time, and personal space. We must prioritize our emotional health for setting boundaries in the early stages of a relationship.

Relationship boundaries are of two types:

A) Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries make a good relationship between you and your new partner with mutual respect and understanding, valuing personal time, space, and family members.

B) Unhealthy Boundaries

Unhealthy boundaries are poor boundaries that have the potential to transform a healthy relationship into a toxic relationship.

Boundaries You Need to Implement in Your Relationship

  • Personal Boundaries
  • Emotional Boundaries
  • Physical Boundaries
  • Financial Boundaries
  • Intellectual Boundaries
  • Sexual Boundaries
  • Time Boundaries
  • Mutual Boundaries
  • Communication Boundaries

What Deal Breakers Need to Consider

When working on a romantic relationship, a few deal breakers are a great way to make it a toxic relationship. These are

  • No privacy
  • No personal values
  • Dishonesty and cheating

No one wants to guess what their partner needs or wants!

It's all about communication, babe. Now that we've established the importance of boundaries, you may wonder how they sound.

I would like to see you but...

Examples of Relationship Boundaries

In our relationships, we can set all kinds of boundaries. Having boundaries should make us feel like we are valued in our relationships. Here are five examples of good boundaries in a relationship:

  1. Expecting others to speak to you when disagree is a sign of growth.
  2. Letting go of being dependent on other people and having your own personality.
  3. When you're at work, ask for personal space and quiet.
  4. Letting people know what's bothering you instead of holding on to anger.
  5. When a person communicates disrespectfully, you should leave the setting.

Best Way to Find Partner for Healthy Relationships

A good match will help you maintain this boundary, even if they don't see you as often as they would like. So, you must spend time with someone to learn if you can have a good future relationship.

Use Social Media

Exploring the social media of your to-be-partner is a good idea as it helps you know their interests.

future relationship

Value Others's Time

Like you, our free time is essential; as adults, it sometimes feels fleeting. However, setting boundaries in dating and determining compatibility takes time and energy. No one wants to waste it on something that will inevitably not work out due to incompatible life goals or values.

Smart Spending

Finding a healthy balance between spending too much time together and not enough can be challenging, especially during the honeymoon phase. It's easy to want to spend every free moment with your new beau, but isolating yourself from the world and only focusing on them is a recipe for codependency.

Communication Boundaries

If you get wrapped up in a person, a healthy boundary is communicating your need to take time for yourself, your friendships, and your hobbies. Expressing this might sound like:

"I'm enjoying my time with you, but it's also important that I make time for myself. I don't want to get lost in this relationship accidentally."

Prioritizing your romantic interest and losing yourself in your romantic interest can be a fine line for many, but opening that dialogue can help you find a healthy, happy medium!

Now that we've established our need for autonomy, it may be time to add some spice.




The doctor is just going to take a swab...

So, you've learned they respect your time-management boundary, plus they're funny, intelligent, and goal-oriented, and you're physically attracted to them. Score!

Boundaries in a Romantic Relationship

Things might progress toward the bedroom, but you might want your potential partner to have a recent STD test before getting hot and heavy.

Asking them about their sexual health might feel weird!

You don't want to imply that you're shaming them for having a sexual history, and you also probably don't want to know the nitty-gritty details of said history... but, like, have you had a recent STD test?

You shouldn't just assume they're as passionate about their sexual health as you are!

If you're unsure of how to communicate your boundary, try the following:

"My sexual health is important to me, and I don't need to know the details of your sexual history, but I would like for both of us to get tested before we have sex."

If they protest, make excuses, or tell you not to worry, you might be dodging a bullet before things get too serious by learning about their lack of respect for your health.

πŸ’‘ Remember

There's no shame in asking a potential sexual partner to show proof of a recent STD test or asking them to schedule an examination. It's your body; you can protect it however you see fit!

Also, don't feel ashamed if you have a sexually transmitted disease. You are still worthy of having loving, healthy emotional and sexual relationships!

So, like, where is this going…

Now that your romantic interest has gotten an STD test or disclosed an STD, you might be ready to take things to the next level and slap a title onto whatever you're doing.

If you're interested in having a monogamous relationship with this person, it might be time to have that uncomfortable "what are we" conversation.

We know it can be stressful, but are we here to waste time? No? We didn't think so.

Not sure how to start this conversation...


"I'm having fun with you, but I want to define this relationship before investing more time into us. I am looking for a long-term relationship, and I would like to know what you're looking for."

If everything goes according to plan, you might be ready to change that Facebook relationship status and alert the media because you got yourself a partner!



How to Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries?

If you don't know how to set healthy boundaries in your relationships, here are four things you can do today:

  • Take the lead and start setting your expectations early in a new relationship. If you have a new job, let your boss know when you plan to leave. Tell them immediately how they can help you feel better if it's with a new friend.
  • Learn from your and the other person's mistakes and use them to set a new limit. If you and a friend fight or don't understand each other, it's a great time to be honest about what you need. You can always start over, no matter how long your relationship has been.
  • Improve your speaking skills and be clear about how you feel. Learn how to say "no" and do it often.
  • Consider your boundaries for a moment. Use a journal to record the details. Also, think about your "why" β€” what need are you trying to meet with your relationship boundary? This will help you stay strong if other people try to push against your boundaries.

Best Time to Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries

Having and maintaining boundaries, even outside of your relationship, is not just self-care; it's self-respect. When you realize it, your time starts!

You have a say in what you allow into your life, and being a people pleaser puts your emotions at risk. It's okay to say no, even if your voice quivers.

One of our members shared with us how a lack of boundaries in her last relationship affected her emotional well-being:

"I lacked boundaries BAD in my last relationship by letting my partner's life be my life. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend was kind and loving, but the pandemic cost him his job, which took a massive toll on his already fragile mental health. I helped financially support him for months until his unemployment got squared away, even though I struggled to make ends meet in my household. I barely knew who I was by the time I left the relationship.

It wasn't until I took vacation time from my job to help him clean his almost uninhabitable apartment that I realized I needed boundaries! My vacation was supposed to be for me to take care of myself, but instead, I scrubbed baseboards and threw away empty beer cans. I realized I was setting myself on fire to keep him warm.

That relationship made me realize how much I need boundaries to keep me from being codependent. It was a harsh lesson, but part of me is glad I learned it the hard way because now I'll never forget its importance."

πŸ’‘ Remember

A good partner will listen to your boundaries, ask questions, and work to help you maintain them.


An unhealthy partner will ask you to move your goalposts or consistently violate your boundaries.

Do you know:

Broken boundaries without consequences just become mere suggestions!

Ready to Set Boundaries in Other Areas of Your Life?

Setting boundaries is like crafting a roadmap for love to flourish in navigating early relationships.

When you say "Stop in the name of love" to excessive demands, unrealistic expectations, or intrusive behaviors, you're not slamming the door shut; you're building a sturdy gate that lets the right person in while keeping the wrong ones out.

With these boundaries in new relationships, you're not stifling the romance; you're ensuring it has room to breathe and grow.

So, embrace the power of "NO" when necessary, and let your "YES" be a resounding affirmation of the beautiful journey you're embarking upon together.

Check out our other blogs for tips on establishing boundaries in long-term relationships, friendships, family members, and the workplace.


πŸ”Ž What boundaries have you implemented during the dating phase or in young relationships?

πŸ”Ž We'd love for you to share your thoughts with our community!

Do you need more health & wellness resources for your well-being? Great, we have got you covered. Click below and get access πŸ™‚

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